The Time My “Boyfriend” Punched a dude

Let’s get one thing straight. I loved school, and I loved learning. But bullying was a major problem at my school. Particularly on the bus. Which was a problem, because when I’m tired, I tend to let out a lot of pent up energy and after school was out, I was tired. I used up that energy by talking, being really annoying, and just generally getting on peoples’ nerves. So they hated me. I don’t want to make myself out as a victim, that’s not what this is about, I just want to paint a picture, so you know the circumstances behind what’s about to happen.

So it’s an ordinary cold, slushy morning in north central Minnesota and I’m sitting next to my 4th grade bae, (let’s call him Benedict for privacy’s sake), even though we were never officially boyfriend/girlfriend. We were too nervous to admit that to each other. I mean, come on, I couldn’t just tell him, he was the cutest guy ever.

 benedict

 

Then there’s this genius who comes over and ruins our perfectly normal, ten-year-old conversation. He stopped our conversation only to tell me, and my bae, Benedict, that  Benedict was an idiot. My bae just shrugged it off. It made me very angry, but he stayed calm. I told the gentleman to go back to his seat and leave us alone, but he kept pestering us, seeing that my bae was calm and collected about who he was, he attacked me, and called me a slut. And he called me other things that I’m not going to post on here, because… they were very inappropriate things.

Benedict reached over the aisle and sucker punched the gentleman (the gentleman was two years older than him, by the way) and that’s when my memory sort of fails me. It’s all kind of a chaotic blur after that. I remember a lot of people gathering around as the gentleman cried and held his bleeding nose. I remember Benedict being really sorry, saying-

 My good fellow.png

So… maybe he didn’t say that.

He was actually suspended for three really lonely days, and the gentleman only laughed about it, like it was nothing. Once he came back, he was a completely different person. Instead of hanging out with his bae (me), he would hang out with the gentleman, not wanting any hard feelings between them. And soon, they were best friends. But it was weird. It was like the gentleman was only friends with Benedict because he was afraid of him, and Benedict was only friends with the gentleman because he thought it was the right thing to do.

Either way, I lost my bae. True story.

Moral of the story, punch the idiot before your boyfriend has to. I’m just kidding. Don’t punch people ever. And never call people names.

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