The time I told “Church Lady” that my daddy hijacked a car

In all fairness, calling her “church lady” is kind of mean. But as a young child, I looked up to church lady as a the church’s very own, beloved, church lady. She was just always very conservative in dress and sort of had the temperament of a church lady. She’s really nice though.

Anyways, we were driving to church and the commute was 45 minutes, so we had some time on our hands each Sunday that we decided to go to church. One Sunday, as my father passed a car that was moving slowly in front of us, I asked him “Daddy, what is it that you just did? When you just drove faster?”

My parents exchanged glances, in most likely an eye roll. “Yeah, what did you do?” my mother asked in kind of a mocking way, to which my father replied in sarcasm (something that I hadn’t mastered yet) “I hijacked the car.”

Before that moment, I had never heard the word hijack, or at least, never really cared when I heard it. Now, don’t ask me why he chose this word, but it confused me, none the less. Looking back, my parents probably just wanted me to be quiet. I had the tendency to run my mouth nonstop for long periods of time.

Storing this new word in my mind, processing it, and absorbing all the context of the situation, I thought nothing more of it. Passing = hijacking. That was it. And once I got to Sunday school, well…

My Daddy....png

Exact quote-

Ahh… it’s like I’m an expert in making people uncomfortable. Your welcome, everyone who knows me.

Church lady didn’t say anything or tell on me. At least, I don’t think she did. The moral of the story, don’t be sarcastic with your children. And don’t believe everything that children say. No matter how persistent they are with their belief that what they are saying is the truth. Because no matter what, I was, am, and always will be, right.

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