Love… probably not love. Probably more like confusion over why a moderately cute person was hitting on me. That’s probably it.
It all started at Driver’s ed. I took a summer course because of homeschool and sat in the back row because I’m shy but I made a friend that reminded me of Wednesday Addams. Her skin was pale like paper and her eyes and hair were black in kind of a creepy, pretty way.
On the first day of the two week class, we were introduced to the course and at the end of the lesson, the teacher asked if anyone had any experiences with organ donation. I wasn’t going to say anything, because I hate speaking in crowds, but the doofuses in the row ahead of me started talking about how they wouldn’t be an organ donor, because it was “really icky”. So I had to speak up and I told the entire class about how my grandfather received a heart with a rare blood type and when he died two years later, he was able to donate his corneas. He actually died two months later, but I was so nervous that I messed up. My mother corrected me later, but I was messed up because I had to talk about my grandpa in front of complete strangers.
It made the doofuses shut up and stop laughing and joking around, so I was satisfied.
The next day, I went back, expecting the day to go exactly according to the last. Nope. Instead, (and we’ll call him Thor because he proudly stated that he had Norse blood in him, although, by his lanky appearance, I doubt it.) Thor threw a piece of paper at my face.
Just randomly and for no reason. He was one of the doofuses that said that organ donation was a bad idea, so I already hated him, and now he was throwing things at me? No, thank you.
Wednesday giggled next to me and told me to open it. I looked up at the teacher who was grumpily writing nonsense on the board about how the liberals were going to all burn in hell because God said so. I was just sitting back and enjoying the entertainment, because to me, crazy people are the most entertaining to watch.
So, I opened it and it just said:
Sup? Was he serious? I looked up at him like he was crazy and gave the note to Wednesday, she was prettier, more his type; he probably meant to throw it at her. But then he started talking to me and then everyone was looking at me. I wanted to die, honestly, I was so embarrassed, but I spoke back because I’m a nice person. Most of the time.
And before the three hour class was over, I was positive that I was in love. Don’t ask me how it happened. I’m still convinced witchcraft was involved, because I was head over heals for this boy in a matter of three hours. When my mom picked me up in the family van, she was sure that I was going to be sad like the day before, but I started telling her about how this cute guy liked me and I liked him and we were talking and the words just burst out in post-suppressed excitement.
I started acting really strangely. I had makeup, but I never used it. I had clothes that complimented my body type, but I rarely wore them. I had nail polish, but I also chewed my nails and I didn’t like the taste of nail polish. I had a lot of “girlie” things, but I never used them, I just hated being a girlie girl, but for some weird reason, out of nowhere, I wanted to be more like a girl and to look like one. And I felt like a clown the first day of my new reveal. On the car ride there, I felt like hotstuff, but as soon as I got into the classroom, I made a b-line for the bathroom, smeared most my makeup off, put my curl ironed hair in a ponytail and put a sweatshirt over my fancy shirt. And you want to know the most messed up thing that I felt embarrassed about? My socks.
My socks went up to my shins like a nerd. His were barely visible, they were so low. I looked at the girls sitting next to me. They had low socks too. As discretely as possible, in the middle of class, I took off my socks. Because I’m completely sane.
I wonder if he noticed. Probably.
It wasn’t like I just dreamed this guy into existence. He was actually really awesome.
He was smart. Like, wicked smart. He won a pizza slicer from an insurance dude that came to class because he could calculate complicated equations in his head. And he was so cute. He had this tooth gap that was perfect. He was confident, making up for something that I lacked entirely. He was funny, he made me laugh everyday, and not even fake “I have a crush on you” laughing. Sincere laughing. Even though, one time he went too far with a concentration camp joke. That wasn’t funny.
Everyday before class, he got me my chair instead of me having to get my own. The class took place in the basement of the library, and one day while waiting for our parents to pick us up, I dared him to get on the roof, thinking he would turn my dare down, but he TOTALLY did it. I’m not even sure if it’s legal to do that.
I didn’t have facebook, so my best friend, let me use hers to look him up. Not to stalk him or anything, just to see if he had an online presence. He did. And I learned a lot about him, like that he liked to take shirtless selfies of himself in the mirror. Yeah, my friends got really excited by that. Also that he had a lot of other friends that were girls. Girls that kind of reminded me of me. I guess that makes sense, but for a moment, I built this alter-reality where I was unique.
On the last day of class, he asked me for my number and I didn’t have a phone and I kind of dreaded what I knew he was asking for. A relationship. So he asked me for my facebook and I told him that I didn’t have that either. And I never saw him again. And that’s that. I later found out that those two weeks that were new and exciting and strange and weird and scary for me, didn’t have nearly as much of an impact on him. That was the first time I fell in love. If you could call it that. True story.
Moral of the story: Is there a moral to this story?
Now I’ve settled on marrying Josh Dun from Twentyone Pilots. Because my goals are realistic.
Oh yeah, and Thor totally had a six pack. My Thor, not Marvel Thor. Marvel Thor definitely has a six pack.