When Life Hands You Lemons…

Really, I didn’t get the saying “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” until recently. And when I say recently, I mean the last few years.

Let me break it down. Lemons are the lousy cousin of the orange that maintains popularity by tricking everyone into thinking that it tastes good by being a seasoning or a drink. It’s sour. It’s gross. No one loves them.

Don’t get me started on limes.

I hate limes.png

Lemonade is alright. It’s not the best because it’s main ingredient is water and lemons, but it also has loads of sugar. Or maybe your lemonade is healthy and it has no sugar at all and you only delude the grossness with water. That’s fine, do whatever you want. It’s your lemonade. Some even add the far superior strawberries to the mix to make strawberry lemonade. Still, it’s only lemonade.

Life of course is life. Unless you’re a robot, you know what that is. Sometimes life is fun. Sometimes life is really, really difficult. Sometimes life chucks a lemon at your face.

I don’t think life has ever just handed the sour, horrible creature we know as “lemons” gently right into someone’s hands. No, it just gets chucked right at your face and sometimes your left with a bloody nose. But hey, guess what? Now it’s time to make lemonade.

You could be the crazy health nut and just add water, but then you’ve just made the stale potato chip of drinks when you could have Chex Mix or something. Add sugar. Make it sweet to the point that you can’t even taste the sour of the lemon anymore. Sounds good. Almost makes me wish I had lemonade with me right now. Almost.

What the saying should be is – When life hands you sour lemons, make some nice cool lemonade, but bring sugar so it tastes less like toilet water.

I suppose that’s less catchy. And I suppose some people like lemonade. Whatever.

“But what even is sugar?” you ask ” Is it happiness? Because happiness is difficult to come by these days,” you say. “How do I find happiness!” Fear not, there is a magical solution to the most basic, uncomplex problem in the world. And the solution is…

There is no solution. Drink your lemonade and sit down. Just be grateful that sugar exists to lighten the supreme yuckiness of lemons and get over yourself. Gosh. You expect me to understand life’s difficult questions? And even if I did, you think I’d share it with you for free?

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