The Best and the Worst things

First dates always seem to go the same way. I say what I like and dislike. Then the other party says what they like or dislike followed by either awkward silence or meaningful conversation. I figure, everyone should just have a list and exchange them to see if they have any similar interests. I realize that’s basically a dating site, but I’m never letting a computer pair someone up with me.

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Best Movie: Princess Bride. Because it’s a kissing movie.

Worst Movie: Invalid question. Movies I hate can become MST3K. Then they’re funny.

Best superhero: Superman. I was raised in a DC household.

Worst superhero: Batman. He’s a glorified dude in a black leotard and a yellow fanny pack.

Best Music: The good kind. Obviously.

Worst Music: Modern Country.

Best Book: “Where the Red Fern Grows” by Wilson Rawls.

Worst Book: Pretty much everything I’ve ever written.

Best Sport: Basketball.

Worst Sport: Football. Both kinds.

Best Team: Whichever team decides to pick me.

Worst Team: The other guys.

Best Politician: I can’t remember his name, but I’m just going to call him Stickerman because he gave the whole class a bunch of stickers in the third grade. I love stickers.

Worst Politician: I can’t remember his name either, but I’m just going to call him sweaty hand because he shook my hand at a parade after probably shaking a million peoples’ hands. Germs are gross.

Best Food: Tacos.

Worst Food: Everything I’ve ever cooked.

Best Animal: Elephants.

Worst Animal: Snakes. Could God make a creepier animal? I don’t think so.

Best Invention: Witty t-shirts.

Worst Invention: Stilettos.

Best Season: Autumn. But if someone adds pumpkin spice to anything, I lose it.

Worst Season: Winter. Is. Coming.

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