First dates always seem to go the same way. I say what I like and dislike. Then the other party says what they like or dislike followed by either awkward silence or meaningful conversation. I figure, everyone should just have a list and exchange them to see if they have any similar interests. I realize that’s basically a dating site, but I’m never letting a computer pair someone up with me.
Best Movie: Princess Bride. Because it’s a kissing movie.
Worst Movie: Invalid question. Movies I hate can become MST3K. Then they’re funny.
Best superhero: Superman. I was raised in a DC household.
Worst superhero: Batman. He’s a glorified dude in a black leotard and a yellow fanny pack.
Best Music: The good kind. Obviously.
Worst Music: Modern Country.
Best Book: “Where the Red Fern Grows” by Wilson Rawls.
Worst Book: Pretty much everything I’ve ever written.
Best Sport: Basketball.
Worst Sport: Football. Both kinds.
Best Team: Whichever team decides to pick me.
Worst Team: The other guys.
Best Politician: I can’t remember his name, but I’m just going to call him Stickerman because he gave the whole class a bunch of stickers in the third grade. I love stickers.
Worst Politician: I can’t remember his name either, but I’m just going to call him sweaty hand because he shook my hand at a parade after probably shaking a million peoples’ hands. Germs are gross.
Best Food: Tacos.
Worst Food: Everything I’ve ever cooked.
Best Animal: Elephants.
Worst Animal: Snakes. Could God make a creepier animal? I don’t think so.
Best Invention: Witty t-shirts.
Worst Invention: Stilettos.
Best Season: Autumn. But if someone adds pumpkin spice to anything, I lose it.
Worst Season: Winter. Is. Coming.